


His secret

by AnaVakarian



Series: Beyond reason [2]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Alien/Human Relationships, Angst, Awkward Flirting, Best Friends, Confessions, Conversations, F/M, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Headcanon, Late Night Conversations, Loss, M/M, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:06:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22861480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnaVakarian/pseuds/AnaVakarian
Summary: Jaal and Sara meet in the Tavetaan to catch up and some secrets regarding the angaran leader are revealed.
Relationships: Evfra de Tershaav & Female Ryder | Sara, Evfra de Tershaav/Female Ryder | Sara, Jaal Ama Darav/Liam Kosta
Series: Beyond reason [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1639225
Comments: 9
Kudos: 60





	His secret

Sara looked left and right in the crowded _tavetaan_ , scanning the place, looking for his known face. Nearly immediately she realized of her mistake: all angaran faces were actually very similar in shape and features and it would be better to look for his colour. It didn’t take her long to locate the broad violet Angara that way, sitting on a small table right in the middle of the crowd with two drinks resting in front of him.

He gave her a wave and a smile when their eyes found each other and she made her way through the massive alien bulky shapes: not that Sara Ryder was short, but nearly all the males and most females were taller than her and definitively broader than any human… Except for The Rock, perhaps.

“ _What’s up?_ ” Jaal asked her with some sort of swagger when she got to sit down on the empty chair. He had actually said that. No _Shelesh_ but good old English. 

She snickered. “ _What’s up?_ Slang, really? Is that what Liam is teaching you?" 

The Angara retrieved his mother tongue, putting the translators to work again. “Well, that's not everything, trust me... you know…? But he’s a terrible _English_ teacher, by the way.” He pushed one of the drinks closer to Sara: red wine. A new acquisition in the _tavetaan_ since the Initiative had been able to bring the Moshae back. Since they were more or less welcome in Aya.

Sara smirked at his playful words whilst Jaal gave her a meaningful look back with a cheeky smile. It had been nearly three months ago when she found them both half-naked in Liam’s quarters in what they conveniently called a _cultural and armour exchange_. She was elated for them, though, and even explained why Jaal was not falling for her constant and awkward flirting attempts. But the fun was over soon and she had to keep up to her Pathfinding role, giving them a proper lecture about couples working together. Not that the Initiative had any specific rule about it, but she didn't want to make any procedure mistakes in front of Tann’s constant surveillance. “Doing anything special today?” she asked.

“Not really… I’m meeting with the others in half an hour to watch that film Kallo doesn’t stop talking about. The cheesy one about the space ship… I'm not really keen on human films, but I have been able to install... well, together with Gil... one of those angaran fancy sensory amplifiers... We had to modify it to use it with your equipment, though, as it was quite outdated...”

Sara had a long sip of her drink and wandered her eyes over the mass of blue, violet, purple and even green Angara that packed the _tavetaan_ , blowing some steam off and trying not to think about the events that would be happening soon: Meridian. She was there in the same terms: trying to forget and distract herself about the fact that she would have to confront the Archon again. And there was no room for mistakes this time as there were the last one: that bastard had her blood and who knows why he wanted it or what would he use it for… SAM had to kill her in order to escape from his claws, which was miles away from being something she was comfortable with. Not many people knew that she died, though. Not even Evfra. The Tempest would be going back to the Remnant city as soon as Suvi finished her calculations, mapping the Scourge. 

Jaal kept his chit-chat on a steady rhythm, telling her about the visit to his mum in Havarl - Liam had finally met her - while Sara emitted some appreciative _mmms_ and _aha,_ proving she was following his story. However, her sight had stopped roaming over the Angaras around them, finally meeting someone else’s eyes. 

The sounds in the _tavetaan_ muffled and the world turned dimmer around her visual field. All except for his piercing blue gaze.

Evfra’s face was an unreadable mask with an intense stare fixed on her, and she twisted a smile in response. 

“... and that’s how I know you are not listening to me anymore… Sara… _Sara_!” 

Jaal's booming call took her out of her contemplations. “Yes! Sorry. I was listening, indeed. You were telling me how your mum loved him, which is good news for sure. Did she mention anything about being with an alien?” she asked, trying to divert the attention from the angaran leader sitting a few tables behind them. He had resumed his conversation with one of his Commanders. 

But Jaal didn’t take the bait. He narrowed his eyes in suspicion and turned around without any sort of concealment. When he looked back at Sara, his eyes and mouth were wide open and she had been able to perceive how his field had changed around them, supporting his surprise. 

“No _skkuting_ way…” 

Sara blushed red nearly immediately, feeling the heat creep up her cheeks on a well-known sensation. “Shut the fuck up,” she threatened him with her finger up. That bloody purple Angara knew her better than anyone in her own species already.

“ _Stars_ … Look at your face… Is it that bad?” He recognized the symptoms of being embarrassed thanks to the notes Lexi lent him about humans.

The Pathfinder didn’t reply but she leaned forward, looking over Jaal’s shoulder trying to discern if Evfra was still looking. And, holy crap, he was. She sunk deeper in the chair and covered her still reddening face with her hands, carefully hidden behind his friend. 

“Ok… It is bad, indeed,” Jaal confirmed. All of a sudden, his expression and his field changed, showing some concern perhaps. “Sara, can I speak to you from my heart?”

“Mmm… yes. I mean… yes,” she stammered, sitting back up, avoiding to look in Evfra’s direction this time. 

Jaal sighed, deciding how to start. Sara knew he was the closest to a friend the angaran Resistance leader had. “Look… Evfra is probably the most different thing to the Angara you will ever find…”

“Yes… well… I’m well aware of that. He’s obviously not as open as you are…”

“He’s not open at all," he cut her short. "He treasures his past and hides his feelings and his thoughts, no matter what. He’s… difficult to reach and difficult to understand. Don’t take me wrong: he’s a good man and a good leader, but he never lets anyone close. And I don’t want you to be disappointed about the outcome of whatever you intend.”

Jaal reached for her hand and squeezed it slightly. To Sara’s surprise, he was comforting her as if she was about to propose to him blindly, knowing that Evfra was a lost battle. “Ehm… I kind of know, Jaal. It is not that… serious. I mean… I suppose I fancy him… I've got a crush, I guess... He’s got some qualities that I find attractive in a man... But I don’t really want to think that I don’t have any chances... Do I?” Sara frowned, expecting his answer. 

She had flirted with Evfra. Loads and shamelessly. And she truly meant it. Besides, he had retorted her attempts sometimes. Being in his office some days ago, she thought… Well, what did she think, anyway? He actually jerked his hand from hers and locked her out from him and from his office... Literally and metaphorically speaking.

“I don’t know if I should be telling you this…” Jaal nipped the inside of his cheek, dubious. “Has he told you about his scars?”

Sara had another sip of wine. “No, but I’ve heard different stories… Escaping a kett’s working camp… Fighting against an Ascendant… That he had them from the Archon himself…”

Jaal chuckled, sardonic. “This bastard is a fucking legend…” he joked. Then, his face grew back to serious. “You know his family was killed by the Kett: mother, father, brothers, sisters… all of them… His _taoshay_ was killed, too. Evfra got the scars that day, fighting for her life... And he couldn't save her.“ Jaal sighed and Sara couldn’t repress a shudder thinking of the cruelty of his story. A story that was not just his: the story of so many Angaras that had suffered the same loss he had. “He wakes up every morning to look in the mirror and rekindle memories of that day… Having nothing left to lose is an easier way to live, I suppose.”

The pain in her eyes was raw, even if she would never show it to Evfra: the last thing the angaran leader wanted for sure was anyone to feel sorry for him, knowing how proud he was. “I had heard that his family was killed… Not about his partner, though…”

“No many of us know...” Jaal replied swiftly. “And you’ll keep that information safe: no one must know.”

After a thoughtful silence, Sara scoffed, somehow bewildered. “And why do you tell me this? I was totally untrustworthy just some months ago for the Angaras… I might still be...” she ironized, trying to ease the tension of the deep conversation. She was baffled that Jaal had decided to share with her something so private about Evfra, considering how discreet the Resistance leader was.

Bold as always was, Jaal shrugged and shook his head. “If anyone is able to empathize with him… his loss… his role… his responsibility… I think that’s you, Sara.”

She raised her eyes from her glass while spinning in her fingers, looking again over Jaal’s shoulder. Evfra was still talking to the same Commander, probably preparing the strategy for the battle ahead, pointing at something on his datapad. She could even imagine the low, gruff and sexy tone of his voice. The more-than-noticeable scar parted vertically on the left side of his face, from his chin to the top of his head and Sara wondered how close he must have been of losing his eye to that injury. 

She also had scars and twisted baggage over her shoulder: a clear cut parted her right eyebrow on a constant reminder that her dad gave his life to save her. Although she was aware that it was not even close in heaviness to Evfra’s grief. “You’re right… I don’t think he needs another worry to deal with,” she stated.

Jaal’s field spiked around them in confusion. “That’s exactly the opposite I was trying to say! I just think that he could do with your… touch?” Sara chuckled at the double meaning her translator gave to his sentence, but Jaal remained completely serious. “I don’t think that his spirit is broken beyond repair… But he will require time. And patience.”

 _“Great… The only two things I might not have much of..._ ” she thought.

**Author's Note:**

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> ***  
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